Saturday, September 10, 2011

Thank You; Sleep; Coming Up Next...

First, a big "thank you" to everyone who read my last entry and left me a comment - on Facebook, via email, and in the comment section here.  It was a mix of people who have known me for a long time, a short time, and family.  Being able to share openly what happened so many years ago is a tremendous weight off my shoulders.  Keeping such a huge event to myself makes it feel heavier - but it's not exactly something that comes up in regular conversations.  I have had friends who knew me for five years without ever knowing about this!

I don't keep it a secret; it's certainly not something I am ashamed of.  But it does freak people out - it seems to either bring me closer to people or push them away, and I've just learned to be ok with that.  I'm intense, my life has been intense - in joy as well as in sorrow.

Apologies for not responding to each comment.  I actually ended up out of commission part of this week with such a bad sinus headache on Thursday that I could hardly look at a computer screen or read a book!

Which brings me to "This Week In Sleep."  Uh I don't really remember.  Everyone's schedules are messed up, mine included.  The days all kind of ran together in a blur of congestion, dizziness, nausea, dozing, and hot fluids.

Squeak is nursing more at night than I think he ever has, though.  What's worse than frequency is that he wakes up and cries and he flops about while he nurses.  I think it's gross motor milestones.  He's getting nearer and nearer to free-standing and then walking!  So I'm tired from that, tired from being ill and restless myself, tired from the previous week of sick kids.  Just one of those times with a perfect storm of sleeplessness!

The good news is that Squeak is such an easy almost-toddler to enjoy.  He is so even-tempered, easy-to-please, snuggly, sweet.  But he's getting more independent, too, with all the crawling, pulling up, exploring, etc.  So that leaves me space to sit and watch and enjoy and also to snuggle and play with Bean.  Plus the two of them play together now, and Bean has resumed being generally sweet to his brother after a short hitting phase.  I'm feeling pretty good about my boys (and need to write a post about what we've been doing differently with Bean that has made a tremendous difference for all of us!).  This is a good phase, even with some great displays of Threeness from Bean and some emerging Toddlerisms and mischief from Squeak.  It all feels balanced and like we are all functioning as a unit (generally).  There is enough of me to go around right now - even for myself!

Coming up next week, Squeak and I are going out of town for a few days and then I'll have exciting news to share with the internet.  (No, I am not pregnant.)  I will probably share it on Facebook first, simply because it's quick and I'm not sure how much time I'm going to have to sit down and write a proper post.  So if you haven't "liked" the Facebook page, do it now!

There are several posts clanging around in my head these days - hopefully I will finally bang 'em out here at the computer next week! 

So, again, thank everyone for the support and love and "listening ears"  (reading eyes?).  I am one lucky lady.  Stay tuned - exciting things ahead!


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